Screw Birthday Sex.

Easter sex is where it’s at!

So, I’ve been a terrible blogger. An impromptu hiatus of 6-7 months is coming to a close. Much as I’d love to give you all a good explanation as to why, the only real answer I can give you is laziness.

So far as what’s gone on in the interim, it’s been pretty wild. 2 new jobs (not simultaneously, but sequentially), new living quarters, new boyfriend (who my family approves of), two turtles, and a rabbit. I’d love to explain, but really, you just had to be there.

So, on the subject of the boyfriend, let’s call him ‘the D’ (both because his name starts with D, and because he’s damn good between the covers), things were going pretty smoothly.

Then, sex toys happened. Momma has a friend that started doing those in-home parties. The ones where people invite close friends to check out the merchandise in the comfort of their homes, both to avoid the embarrassment of being seen browsing brightly colored paraphernalia that would put O G MudBone to shame, and for future blackmail purposes. Let’s face it: it’s always useful to have this kind of dirt on your friends.

“You still can’t pay me back that $20?? Have you told your new boyfriend about that 10″ strapon you bought last year?”

Oh, yeah…the point.

Momma asked if the D and I would like to have one of these parties at her place, so that undisclosed friend wouldn’t have to drive so far. (We’re a very open and comfortable family. Not nudist-open, but close enough.)

I responded by telling her that it was a cool idea, but that the D and I had decided to give up sex for Lent (which starts today, FYI).

Her response was something akin to, “BAHAHA AHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHA HA srsly?”

Apparently, my mother thinks I’m too much of a sexual deviant to make it 40-someodd days without a good boning.

This made me think some pretty serious thoughts. How much of our relationship really is just the sex? Is there anything else to the foundation of our relationship? We discussed these and other questions that arose- eventually coming to the conclusion that, yes, this will be a good way to determine whether our relationship has other important features which will support sustainability- aside from just physical attraction and lust.

Day one, so far, things are pretty good.

We decided to make ourselves a naughty Easter basket.


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