The Pros and Cons of Being Nocturnal

Let me make this clear: I work during what most people refer to as “night-time”. My shift begins at 23:00, and ends (usually) at around 07:00. Third shift is a blast- the shift leads of various department have competitions over the PA system where they will randomly play music or sound clips from TV or movies. They do hilarious accents when paging the mechanics to fussy machinery.

Everyone gets to tell off-color jokes and have highly inappropriate conversation on the line because the leads are so much more laid back. This sort of stuff would not fly on first or second shift. Plus, the shift differential is pretty nice.

So, as I pass first-shift people on my way out the door, I don’t really think much of it when I say, “Have a good evening,” because after all, I’m going home for the day- It IS my evening. They look at me, and the rest of third shift like we’re nuts.

Let’s continue on with the rest of my evening:

I don’t have to wait in line at the bank because, Hey! Everyone else just got to work! The ladies at the counter are always cheerful and calm- their day just started and I’m usually their first customer on days that I have to stop in, so I’m never dealing with irritable employees who’ve had a shitty day already!

Woah! No lines at the gas pump or grocery store either!! How fortuitous!

My friends, however, never seem to be able to recall that I have a night job.

“Hey, can you help me out and watch my kids all day Friday and Saturday since you never work weekends??”

“Sorry, but I work nights, remember? I need to keep my sleep schedule or else I’ll be useless Sunday night when I go back. I could probably do the afternoons though. Just let me sleep the mornings both days.”

“Oh, that sucks! We’ve got to get you a better job so you can have a regular schedule!”

Bitch! What you really mean is that you want me to get a job so that my schedule conforms to your schedule, making me more useful to you.

For the record, I love working nights. It suits me just fine. You day-people can take your day schedules and shove them where the Sun don’t shine. Speaking of the Sun, I get to enjoy sunny days like today while you’re cooped up inside doing your day job. I figure I’ll head to bed around 15:00 or so, right as the kids are all getting out of school and the busses are impeding your lunch-break travel schedule.

A good night to you, ladies and gents!


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