Instant Regret

I do things sometimes, without fully thinking them through. But this isn’t the case right now. I considered this decision for a full month before saying, “Hey, I’m going to submit to one of my favorite lit journals!”

Even before I drafted my bio and started the email, I was reconsidering the decision. I wouldn’t call it having second thoughts though. Second thoughts were about a month ago. For the last 3 weeks, I’ve been writing and deleting the submission email- about twice a day. We’re talking 50th thoughts here.

I hit the “Send” button today.

I can’t take that back.

It’s sent.

It’s gone.

Maybe they won’t see it. I could potentially get lost in the slew of submissions that they probably get daily. I’d be okay with that. That sounds nice. It’s just lost. Lost is good. I mean, I’m lost half the time too, and I’m okay. It’s okay if it gets lost.

Can I email them and ask them to reject it? I’m okay with rejection. Rejection and I are bros. Is that against the rules? I think I’ll do that. But then that doesn’t make sense. They’ll feel like I wasted their time. I don’t want to waste their time.

Then, why did I send it in the first place?

I guess I can’t fix this.


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