Excuse me, but could you remove your religion from my vagina?

Seriously? Many employers already control their employees’ social schedules by dominating their waking hours during the week and then requiring overtime hours as well. Now they’ll get to shove their noses into what method Their employees choose to prevent pregnancy too?? Even though this has nothing to do with the employees’ work performance? Ya’ll need to review your decision here.

I presently have Paragard, the copper IUD, one of the contraceptives that Hobby Lobby has an issue with. Why do I have it? Because medically, I cannot use hormone-based birth controls. Also, condoms are pretty hit-or-miss. I don’t have to worry about my IUD breaking during intercourse and resulting in a pregnancy that I am not ready for, and having a child as the result that I am not financially stable enough to provide for. Not to mention, it’s difficult to find condoms that I can use as I have very sensitive skin and latex, spermicides, lotions, and many soaps cause a lot of skin irritation.

If it were my employer, I’d be seeking another job ASAP.

As it is, my employer is pretty cool and to my knowledge is not planning on limiting our insurance. Kudos to them. They’re not being dick faces and trying to impose their personal OPINIONS into other peoples’ personal, non-work-affecting lives.

So, since I’m not affected, you may be asking why I’m so upset about this. Aside from the obvious fact that I’m a woman, and I care very deeply about women having equal rights, I’m also a pretty big activist about the quality of life of the children who already exist in this world. You know, the ones getting swept under the rug. Foster kids, the many children registered as wards of their respective states while awaiting adoption.

Pro-lifers, who dominate the anti-contraceptive side of this argument are so adamant that every baby should be born, with few or no exceptions depending on who is talking.

Do they bother to think about the kind of life that these children will have post-birth? What about the thousands of children across the US being bounced around foster homes, waiting for a family to care enough to adopt them? What about the thousands more who fall between the cracks of the child services?

There are kids in high school struggling to take care of their younger siblings because their parents are too busy doing drugs to be the adult.

I am by no means saying that these kids would be better off if they didn’t exist. Many of them, however, think that things would be better if they could just disappear.

My question for anyone trying to limit women’s access to birth control and reproductive health resources is: If every child being born is so important to you, what are you doing to ensure that these children have the best quality of life possible?

Until you’ve made certain that there are no children in need of a caring family atmosphere, keep your opinions to yourself, and do something positive to alleviate their problems.

For those of you actually interested, here are some links you may find useful:

Adopt US Kids – info on foster care and adoption, broken down for each state. Loads if helpful videos and information about both foster care and adoption in the US.

Hope Children’s Home- an orphanage in Tampa, FL rescuing neglected, abused, and abandoned children.

Hope Children’s Home in Jackson, MO. Foster care home for children immediately after removal from their homes. also a fantastic resource for foster parents

Child Welfare directory offering resources by state

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption- Finding Forever Families for Children in Foster Care

Adoptive Families- a great information source through all stages of the adoption process

There are thousands of resources like these, but these are my favorites.

Oh, and until there’s no need for organizations like these, kindly keep your religion out of my vagina.


In which I am a total pussy, and my doctor is a saint:

There are moments in our lives that we think define us. I find that this is incorrect. These moments don’t so much define us, as teach us truths about ourselves that were always there to begin with.

Yesterday, I had eye surgery. While awake. Needles and lasers and freezing. My ophthalmologist has levels in wizard. His expert execution of Ray of Frost at my retina while I whimpered and cried and hyperventilated like a child is testament to his amazing skill at his craft.

Being honest with myself, they probably ought to have restrained me or something. The man is a miracle worker that he was able to flawlessly re-attach my retina with me shaking like California during a massive, devastating earthquake.

Kudos also to my boyfriend, whose facial expressions And vocalizations conveyed nothing but soothing comfort and support while a mad-man stuck needles in his girlfriend’s eye. Then did other stuff. Then stuck in more needles.

I did not find out until today that the D was actually pretty mortified and scared, as well. But that he was calm yesterday was possibly the only thing that kept me from reaching up and strangling the doctor as a fight or flight response, then running out the door- irreversible blindness be damned.

And I attribute to God the fact that although I was terrified and plotting my escape every moment, I still had the presence of mind to follow the doctor’s directions during the procedure. Seriously. That shit was difficult.

At the end of the day though, it was a really positive experience. Don’t ask me to explain how. I don’t understand it either. All I know is that I went to bed last night feeling really, really good about life.

I’m still feeling pretty damn good about things. Except the snow. The snow can go fuck itself.

Go home, Mother Nature. You’re drunk.

Why I am a Terrible Catholic: A Lenten Self-Analysis

Don’t get me wrong- I don’t feel that I’m a bad person per se. I do my best to be an honest, compassionate, kind, generous, and caring person every day. It just seems to be specifically living my faith where I fall short time and time again. It being the middle of Lent now, I feel it’s high time to call myself out on a few things:

1. I don’t go to Church, at least, not nearly as often as I should. I make plans to go, almost every week- but something always seems to get in the way. I accidentally sleep through my alarm for Saturday night Mass (I work nights,so daytime sleeping is my thing). Or I just couldn’t stay up long enough Sunday morning for Mass. Or I just make the choice to be lazy.

“Oh, I’ll go next week,” is a consistent thing for me. There is no excuse for it, and I need to buckle down and go. Especially since the D is so supportive of me going, pursuing my faith, and more than happy to do it alongside me. He actually wants to go to RCIA classes when they start back up in September. He has a bit more conviction than I do, and I should be learning from that. (For those of you who don’t know: RCIA is the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults.)

To curb this, I’m going to make this public announcement: “I will stay up for morning Mass tomorrow morning, which the D and I will attend together.”

Now, if I don’t go, I have to come back here and tell you all how lazy I was.

2. I have little to no willpower. To me, “giving up” something has always been more like “cutting down drastically”. Kids who decide to give up their favorite candy or snack probably do a hell of a lot better at sticking to it than I do. Of course, it isn’t intentional- but that’s no excuse. I am an adult, and should be capable of exhibiting a certain amount of self control.

3. I do not pay attention. I’m the sort of introverted person who will be off in her own little world, not paying attention, and then suddenly realize that I just cut someone off in traffic. Or was unintentionally rude. When I notice that I’ve done something like that, I do my best to apologize when possible, but I know there are probably dozens more times when I don’t catch it.

I’ve come to see myself as the derpy sheep in Jesus’ flock…

The one where every time he turns around, has unwittingly gotten itself into some sort of trouble. Without fail, He always comes to my rescue, because I am sincerely trying. I just seem to have more shortcomings than most of the other sheep.

For a long time, I had abandoned my faith. Mostly, because with failure after failure, I started to feel a sense of total defeat and despair. More recently, especially with Pope Francis’ words condoning forgiveness, patience and acceptance, I’ve begun to feel significantly more worthy of trying.

It’s helped me see past the failures, and see them as new opportunities to learn and improve myself. It’s comforting, and makes me feel as though even when I don’t succeed, I’m still worthy of God’s love, and the love and acceptance of the congregation- as are all people regardless of creed, gender, political stance, race, and sexual identity. We are all God’s children.

Even the derpiest members of the flock.

The derpiest sheep

The derpiest sheep

What are some ways that you could better live your faith, whatever religion you follow?